Sunday, June 30, 2013

Ready or Not, Here I Come!

I can honestly say my babies are my life. I’d do anything for them, they’re my priority. I go without many things so my kitties can have what they need to be happy and healthy. I will admit that when I first took them in, it was no walk in the park. I had lost Alex in a very traumatic way and had convinced myself I would never again give my heart to another fur child. It was though, extremely difficult. I soon found out it was too quiet and too lonely. Although I did enjoy not having to clean so much and I was able to have things like plants again…it just wasn’t the same.

But taking in one new baby, never mind two, was a shock to my grieving process and admittedly it took a lot for me to let go of the anger, resentment and pain of losing my soul kitty. I know I felt pushed by a lot of people to get another fur child. And even though it all worked out in the end, at the time, I just wasn’t ready. But I wouldn’t trade this time with my two scampers for anything.

Finnegan came to me first and he was a handful! He climbed my curtains and wanted my attention 24/7, which is why I got Lacey. Both of them fell in love with each other immediately. However, it took me a little time to reach that point with them, I hadn’t finished grieving yet. But they tugged and tugged on my heartstrings until I couldn’t resist anymore and I gave in. I let my heart open to its full capacity and realized that Alex had sent them to me.

The shock of losing Alex the way I did though scared me to pieces. I realized there was always the chance of one of these two getting sick. After all, there are never any guarantees and eventually they will get old and get sick, and yes, die of something. It took me a good year to relax and just enjoy them. I was so scared they would develop some life threatening illness like Alex had.

Losing a fur child is without a doubt one of the hardest things we as pet lovers will ever go through. It can really mess us up! For me, I was thrust back into momma hood very quickly but it turned out to be just what I needed. I don’t think I could have done my website had I not learned to laugh again and have something to look forward to everyday. But everyone is different and we all know when it’s time to be alone and heal, or when it’s time to open our arms and hearts again.

If you’re in that position right now and aren’t sure what to do…don’t rush into anything because others are telling you to. Do it because you’re ready, you feel the situation is right and/or because you’ve fallen in love with the right little furry face.


Anonymous said...

So sweet, Lisa. What a wonderful blog entry.

lillito said...

So sweet, Lisa. What a wonderful blog entry.

Unknown said...

When we lose them, we lose the piece of our that they claimed. It hurts. It's grief and it's loss and the stages of mourning progress in the same manner as if we'd lost a human family member.

The way that any family proceeds through their grief is as unique as the family and the soul that they grieve for.

I often thought, while tearing up at the heartache and loss that the grieving process happens so painfully, perhaps because our hearts are enlarging in order to make room to love anew again.

bittykitty M said...

Me & Mommy Liz really like your Blog & this is our first time heyah!

We know that they are so many more doggie & things, humph!

In my house NO Dogs are allowed, per my rules (Kally Kat) mol mol..

Mommy loves Dogs, but like I say
Cats Rule, Dogs drool.....

Miss Kally Kat sends sum kisses to,
Finney & Lacey.

Tina said...

Beautifully written. I admit I am very afraid of the day I have to say goodbye to my furkids. They, (especially Shadow) has been there for me in tough times, not sure what I will do without her. Im glad we have friends that understand and will be there when that day comes. Im so glad that Lacey and Finney found you, thanks to Alex sending them your way

Brenda said...

Nicely worded Lisa! After losing two kitties so close together I was thinking of adopting one as it's been 3 months. The house feels empty and I keep checking the litterboxes and there's nothing there:) Now that Daisy is sick she is my priority as I may not have her for long.

I'm glad I waited and will know when the time is right.

IBDKitties said...

Brenda in your case I'm glad you waited as well. Something must have told you it just wasn't time. I know this is so terribly hard on you. I feel so badly for you losing so many in one year.

Carol said...

Lovely. Each of us heals at our own pace. But we do heal,and while we shouldn't try to rush it, adopting and loving again speeds the process along.

Anonymous said...

Really enjoyed your blog. So sorry for your loss.

Michele said...

Well written Lisa! When I mentioned Chiquitita's age to a colleague her first response was; "Are you prepared?" I said I don't think you can ever be prepared, and that, after almost losing her 3 years ago, I find it far more important to look into her 17 year old eyes and be grateful for every today we have , and not mourn her before she's gone.

IBDKitties said...

Michele I find it a little hard on you for someone to say that just because she's 17! She could live quite a few great more years. I like how people just assume because of age that she's ready to die. As you said, don't mourn before she's even gone! Enjoy every moment with her.

Timmy Tomcat said...

Michele I do not think I would have been very nice in my response. Would that person said the same about a family member of a peer? I think not.

Over some 40+ years of having furs in my life the reality that they bless us for a short while in regard to our longevity may be a given, but, none the less painful. My clowder now ranges from 12 to 2 years young and I look at every day as a blessing.

Thanks Lisa for this deeply personal and caring post.

Timmys Dad Pete

IBDKitties said...

Thank YOU Pete for a very well said comment. and thank you for loving your babies so very much and taking such amazing care of them!

pcat said...

Lisa you always know how to word things in such a way it makes sense and so very loving.
Yes we all grieve in our own way and the hurt and sadness we fell when we lose one of our precious fur babies is so hard on all of us animal lovers.
when we are ready to open our big hearts we know it is right. We have big loving hearts and there are so many loving kitties that need our hearts to open up to them. No matter how hard we find it, I know none of us regret letting that special sweet kitty into our hearts, helping us heal and laugh again.
Thanks for writing

Deanna said...

Lisa: Thank you so much for your beautiful words. You are right on! Even though it has only been 90 days since I lost my wonderful and precious 18 1/2 year old, losing liter mates within 1 year of each other is just too much to bear. I have the deepest void in my life and the largest hole in my heart. And yes the scare is there, too. The same way as you described. But I know, as you have said, when the time is right, I will have two new liter mates come into my life. Thank you for stating in such an awesome way the true feelings that are going through me and through so many other grieving human parents.

IBDKitties said...

It's funny because I never really know which blog entries are going to affect people. I wasn't sure about this one but as it turns out it's touched a lot of you. I'm so glad I could reach into your hearts.

Christina said...

Congratulations! Your blog has been chosen a finalist in the 2013 Petties in the category of Best Cat Blog. Voting for finalists is now open through July 31, 2013, so let all your readers know! Please contact me at so I can send you a finalist badge that you can place it on your site. The winner in each category receives a personalized Petties trophy and a $100 donation to the non-profit 501c3 shelter or rescue of choice. Winners will be announced in an online ceremony in September. More details on the ceremony to come.
Congratulations on being a finalist and good luck!


Amy said...

I love this blog entry. Losing my Charlotte was insanely tough, but I had Toby there to comfort me. Like your Alex, Toby was truley a soul mate and it nearly killed me to lose him just a year later.

It amazed me the number of people who suddenly offered us a new kitten or cat that they "just couldn't keep" and how many people told us to just go and get another cat. We have a huge hole in our life right now, but I know that I can't yet look at another kitty without worrying about when it's time with us will be over.

I know one day that I will get there and be ready to welcome a new little furry life into our house but I'm not there yet.

I'm glad you have these 2 in your life to brighten it as only kitties can and that they have you to care for them and love them as much as I know you do :)

IBDKitties said...

Thank you Christina for the honor of being a finalist! I'm so happy and excited! Amy, if you're not ready, you're not ready. don't let anyone push you into something you just don't have the heart to do yet. You'll know if and when it's time.

Suz @PetHostr said...

Great post - but it's something I can't bear to think about